Last week, I didn\u2019t know what a toilet flange was. Now I own one\u2014and it cost me $1,395.<\/p>\n
Here\u2019s what happened:\u2028\u2028 Yesterday morning, I noticed a puddle spreading out from under the toilet in our main floor bathroom. That\u2019s an icky discovery at the best of times. It\u2019s even worse when the water-logged bathroom happens to be right beside the kitchen table. Panic ensued. Parents were called. Off we went to Home Depot to buy a toilet flange. And while my dad wandered through the store, hunting for flanges, my mom and I stopped to admire a gas stove. A gas stove which\u2014coincidentally\u2014happened to be on sale.<\/p>\n
I would like to state right now that I was not<\/em> in the market for a new gas stove. True, I hate the one that came with this house (just to clean the cooktop, I have to remove 19 different cast iron bits and pieces). But I\u2019m saving up so I can gut and update the entire kitchen in a couple of years. That\u2019s<\/em> when I was going to replace this horrid stove.<\/p>\n But my 81-year-old mother\u2014the smartest woman I\u2019ve ever met\u2014announced that if I bought the gas stove we were staring at (which\u2014coincidentally\u2014happened to be on sale) I might actually start loving my kitchen, and I could put off the massive, and obscenely expensive kitchen renovation that I\u2019ve been muttering about for the last year.<\/p>\n Well, there was a time when I didn\u2019t listen to my mom\u2014a time, in fact, when I thought it was hilarious to ignore her completely, do the exact opposite of what she was suggesting and watch her frustration bubble up at having raised such a jerk. But that was last year. I\u2019ve grown up since then. So I carefully considered her suggestion, then came home with a toilet flange. Just<\/em> a toilet flange.<\/p>\n You\u2019re thinking I came home with a stove, aren\u2019t you? Well, you\u2019re wrong. The stove is being delivered next week.<\/p>\n Did you enjoy this post? Subscribe to my blog and you\u2019ll never miss my once-a-month updates! It\u2019s easy: Just enter your email address in the upper right corner of this page. I\u2019ll never sell, share, or rent your contact information, because I hate it when people do that.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Last week, I didn\u2019t know what a toilet flange was. Now I own one\u2014and it cost me $1,395. Here\u2019s what happened:\u2028\u2028 Yesterday morning, I noticed a puddle spreading out from under the toilet in our main floor bathroom. That\u2019s an icky discovery at the best of times. It\u2019s even worse when the water-logged bathroom happens […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_s2mail":"yes","footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-361","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-funny-bits"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/361","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=361"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/361\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":364,"href":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/361\/revisions\/364"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=361"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=361"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=361"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}