1. Don\u2019t overthink current fashions.<\/strong> Three words: Drop crotch pants. What are they hiding in there? Bath towels? Throw pillows? A microwave? My advice: Take photos and say nothing. You\u2019ll have great ammo for their wedding slideshow.<\/p>\n 2. Lower your standards. No, lower<\/em>\u2026<\/strong>One of my kids recently gave me a coffee mug that says \u201cWorld\u2019s Okayest Mom\u201d on it. I use that mug with pride. I\u2019ve hit the point where mediocre<\/em> is what I\u2019m striving for (if fewer than 60% of my kids need counseling during adulthood, I\u2019ll consider that a win). Lowering my standards has really taken the pressure off. You should try it.<\/p>\n 3. Don\u2019t overthink current hairstyles.<\/strong> My girls all went through a hair straightening phase. They\u2019d plug in the straightener, wait until it was hot enough to melt glass and then drag it through their hair until their gorgeous, thick locks turned into sad, wispy strands that hung limply over their ears. My advice: Take photos and say nothing\u2014remember, that wedding slideshow is coming some day.<\/p>\n 4. Bite your tongue\u2014but get revenge.<\/strong> Ever had a teen sulk while you\u2019re scrubbing the floor because he can\u2019t get to the fridge for a snack? It\u2019s tempting to yell, \u201cOh, I\u2019m sorry, is your free maid getting in the way of your free food?\u201d But you don\u2019t want to teach kids how to be sarcastic until after<\/em> they\u2019ve moved out. Instead, I recommend hiding a large stash of expensive chocolates and refusing to share. If you\u2019re stuck living with a teen, you<\/em> should be allowed to be a jerk, too.<\/p>\n 5. Give up. You\u2019re wrong.<\/strong> Did you make all their baby food from scratch? Congratulations, you turned them into spoiled, entitled brats. Did you feed them the store-bought stuff? Congratulations, they probably ingested 20 pounds of arsenic and scrap metal in their first year of life. Treating all your kids the same? Clearly, you\u2019re ruining them by being inflexible. Adjusting your expectations based on their personalities and circumstances? Clearly, you\u2019re ruining them by picking favorites.<\/p>\n Give up. Seriously. If you cook enough meals, they\u2019ll buy you the World\u2019s Okayest mug. Eventually.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" 1. Don\u2019t overthink current fashions. Three words: Drop crotch pants. What are they hiding in there? Bath towels? Throw pillows? A microwave?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_s2mail":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-431","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-funny-bits"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/431","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=431"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/431\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":438,"href":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/431\/revisions\/438"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=431"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=431"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=431"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}