{"id":490,"date":"2017-04-26T21:22:15","date_gmt":"2017-04-26T21:22:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/?p=490"},"modified":"2017-04-26T21:22:15","modified_gmt":"2017-04-26T21:22:15","slug":"todays-discovery-teriyucky-sauce","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/archives\/490","title":{"rendered":"Today\u2019s Discovery: TeriYucky Sauce"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I found a bottle of teriyaki sauce on the top shelf of my fridge today. I didn\u2019t even know I <em>had<\/em> teriyaki sauce\u2014now there\u2019s a bottle of it sitting here on my desk. While perusing the label, I found the expiry date: 2001.<\/p>\n<p>This bottle is older than two of my kids. It\u2019s older than my last house. <!--more-->I\u2019ve moved <em>twice<\/em> since buying it.<\/p>\n<p>This sauce is so old, the label boldly states that it contains high fructose corn syrup (an ingredient that today\u2019s manufacturers try hard to hide). It also contains <em>Aspergillus sojae<\/em>. This is an <em>industrially important fungi<\/em>, according to Google\u2014it\u2019s also a <em>surprisingly ugly fungi<\/em>, according to Google Images.<\/p>\n<p>Now, I hate to waste food, and I don\u2019t take expiry dates too seriously, but even <em>I&#8217;m<\/em> hesitant to use a sauce that expired 16 years ago and contains fungi that (under a microscope, at least) look like toilet brushes.<\/p>\n<p>So I poured the teriyaki sauce down the drain. Okay, that\u2019s not entirely true\u2014I <em>tried<\/em> to pour it down the drain. Do you know what happens when you let toilet brush fungi and high fructose corn syrup ferment for 16 years? You get <strong>TeriYucky Sauce<\/strong>\u2014a gelatinous mass that will not budge, no matter how desperately you want to recycle the bottle. So my TeriYucky Sauce is in the garbage, and I\u2019m heading back to the fridge. Wish me luck\u2014I\u2019m going to see what I can find on the second shelf.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I found a bottle of teriyaki sauce on the top shelf of my fridge today. I didn\u2019t even know I had teriyaki sauce\u2014now there\u2019s a bottle of it sitting here on my desk. While perusing the label, I found the expiry date: 2001. This bottle is older than two of my kids. It\u2019s older than [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_s2mail":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-490","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-funny-bits"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/490","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=490"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/490\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":493,"href":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/490\/revisions\/493"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=490"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=490"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=490"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}