{"id":525,"date":"2017-06-09T15:04:43","date_gmt":"2017-06-09T15:04:43","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/?p=525"},"modified":"2017-06-09T15:04:43","modified_gmt":"2017-06-09T15:04:43","slug":"day-1-and-so-it-begins","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/archives\/525","title":{"rendered":"Day 1: And so it begins\u2026"},"content":{"rendered":"

I had a frontal lobotomy in March. At least I\u2019m assuming that\u2019s what happened because\u2014after years of merely daydreaming about getting my kitchen, powder room and laundry room renovated\u2014I actually picked up the phone and called someone<\/em>. Yesterday, the contractors arrived\u2014with crowbars, sledgehammers and chainsaws. I think I heard the house scream.<\/p>\n

You can find my reasons for wanting this reno here<\/strong><\/a> (I\u2019ll admit, the pantry sewage was a biggie).<\/p>\n

Now, here\u2019s what I\u2019ve learned after just one day of home renovation bliss:<\/p>\n

1. Chainsaws make cats stress fart.<\/strong> I\u2019m keeping both cats in my office during the demo. Just me and two very old cats in the smallest, stuffiest room of the house. When the construction crew revved their chainsaws, my cats revved their colons. I bet I’d lose my eyebrows if I lit a match.<\/p>\n

2. Old homes didn\u2019t fare well in the \u201870s.<\/strong> The kitchen in this 200-year-old home used to have solid wood floors, crown molding, a servant\u2019s staircase and beautiful baseboards and trim. Not anymore. Back in the bell-bottom era someone \u201cupdated\u201d the place by building a kitchen like the one in That \u201870s Show<\/em> (but less attractive).<\/p>\n

3. Sometimes \u201cbuilt to last\u201d is a bad thing.<\/strong> The \u201870s cabinets appear to have been cut and installed one board at a time. Each board was glued in place and then attached to the core of the earth using row upon row of long screws. It took multiple, window-rattling blows with a sledgehammer to make even one cabinet budge.<\/p>\n

4. Three electrical panels is a bad sign.<\/strong> I spent all last week emptying the kitchen, powder room and laundry room. I dragged everything down into the basement, then painstakingly set up what would<\/em> have been a fairly functional kitchen. Then the demolition crew disconnected the power flowing through the most worrisome electrical panel. My basement kitchen is now completely black. I\u2019d light candles but, well, see #1<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

We\u2019re into day two, now. The windows are rattling, and one of the Incredible Farting Felines is sitting in my lap. I\u2019ll be cooking in the dark and washing the dishes in the bathtub. There will be wine involved.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I had a frontal lobotomy in March. At least I\u2019m assuming that\u2019s what happened because\u2014after years of merely daydreaming about getting my kitchen, powder room and laundry room renovated\u2014I actually picked up the phone and called someone. Yesterday, the contractors arrived\u2014with crowbars, sledgehammers and chainsaws. I think I heard the house scream.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_s2mail":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-525","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-funny-bits"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/525","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=525"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/525\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":528,"href":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/525\/revisions\/528"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=525"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=525"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=525"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}