{"id":534,"date":"2017-06-30T01:42:33","date_gmt":"2017-06-30T01:42:33","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/?p=534"},"modified":"2017-06-30T01:42:33","modified_gmt":"2017-06-30T01:42:33","slug":"three-weeks-and-counting-without-a-stove","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/archives\/534","title":{"rendered":"Three Weeks\u2014And Counting\u2014Without a Stove"},"content":{"rendered":"

Okay, we\u2019re at the three-week point in this kitchen, powder room and laundry room renovation (you\u2019ll find my oh-so-insightful comments on Day 11 here<\/strong><\/a>). The back half of my house now has all sorts of things that it didn\u2019t have when I moved in\u2014such as insulation, and wiring that won\u2019t burst into flames while we sleep. It also now has\u2014and I\u2019m very excited about this\u2014drywall. Here\u2019s what I\u2019ve learned this week:<\/p>\n

*Tortillas rule.<\/strong> Is there anything better than dumping whatever\u2019s in the fridge onto a tortilla, smothering it with cheese and then microwaving it until it\u2019s the temperature of molten lava? Okay, there probably is, but my kitchen won\u2019t be finished for another eight weeks, so most of our dinners consist of molten lava tortillas (or, as I like to call them, \u201cBe grateful you have<\/em> food\u201d).<\/p>\n

*Barbecues are evil.<\/strong> I had a three pound slab of steelhead trout in the freezer, and I was getting a little tired of tortillas. So I decided to try barbecuing. For the first time. Within minutes, I\u2019d cremated a piece of fish that was the size of my liver and was worth more than my car. I scraped as much as I could off the grill, dumped it into a tortilla and smothered it with molten lava cheese. I should have just set my wallet on fire.<\/p>\n

*You never know when karate will come in handy.<\/strong> This week, the construction crew installed a support beam to stop my bedroom from falling into the kitchen. It\u2019s working beautifully\u2014the upstairs floor is no longer shaped like a hammock. Unfortunately, this alteration has angered the house. As soon as the support beam went into place, the kitchen door jammed shut and spit out its doorknob. Now, whenever we need to open the kitchen door, I have to head out the front door, run half-way around the house, and Jackie Chan the stuck door open with a rather energetic thrust kick.<\/p>\n

*Cats are still jerks.<\/strong> How are my cats handling the reno, you ask? Well, they\u2019ve stopped stress farting (that was week 1), and I\u2019m no longer living in Puke-a-Palooza (that was week 2). Now, they\u2019ve decided to embrace<\/em> the reno. Every day, they spend hours dancing through piles of drywall dust, then they race through the rest of the house, rubbing against every surface that they can find. They\u2019ve become the Anti-Swiffers.<\/p>\n

What\u2019s next? Well, the construction crew is busy mudding and taping this week, and that means sanding is next. I bet my cats can\u2019t wait.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Okay, we\u2019re at the three-week point in this kitchen, powder room and laundry room renovation (you\u2019ll find my oh-so-insightful comments on Day 11 here). The back half of my house now has all sorts of things that it didn\u2019t have when I moved in\u2014such as insulation, and wiring that won\u2019t burst into flames while we […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_s2mail":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-534","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-funny-bits"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/534","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=534"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/534\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":538,"href":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/534\/revisions\/538"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=534"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=534"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=534"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}