It\u2019s been a rough week for Brett Palmer. Brett\u2014a 34-year-old Australian\u2014caught a fish off the coast of Victoria. Unfortunately, the fish was a shark. Equally unfortunate: Brett was in a kayak, and he didn\u2019t let go of his fishing rod. The shark took off, yanking Brett out of his kayak, and Brett learned how difficult it is to water ski without water skis. Thankfully, Brett was spotted by some fishermen, who pulled him into their boat before the shark glanced back and realized it had dinner on a string.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s been a rough week for Transavia Airlines, as well. They\u2019ve been hit with a lawsuit by several passengers who were enraged about a gas leak on their flight. Just to be clear: The gas leak was not from the plane\u2014it was from an elderly man with no shame and a wildly enthusiastic colon. His emissions caused significant olfactory distress for the other passengers, and once it became clear that the flight attendants were not<\/em> going to help, a fight broke out and the plane had to make an emergency landing in Vienna. Four angry passengers were removed by police, and the plane (with the Incredible Farting Senior still on board) continued to Amsterdam. The lawsuit is now in progress\u2014no word, yet, on whether they\u2019ve fumigated the plane.<\/p>\n It\u2019s been a rough week for a senior\u2019s home in Britain, as well. The folks running Fairmile Grange Home in Christchurch had determined that pudding and macrame classes weren\u2019t keeping their residents happy, so they did what any good senior\u2019s home would do: They paid six pole dancers to perform in the communal dining room. The residents were wildly enthusiastic about this new form of entertainment, but the politicians in Christchurch were not, and they demanded that this activity stop immediately. The folks running Fairmile Grange Home handled the controversy with great dignity\u2014they told the stuffed shirts to go to hell, and they\u2019ve booked the pole dancers to put on another show.<\/p>\n So while I wouldn\u2019t recommend fishing off the coast of Victoria, Australia, and you may need a gas mask if you\u2019re booking a flight on Transavia Airlines, it\u2019s great to know that, in our golden years, we\u2019ll be able to aggravate politicians and<\/em> watch pole dancers at the same time.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" It\u2019s been a rough week for Brett Palmer. Brett\u2014a 34-year-old Australian\u2014caught a fish off the coast of Victoria. Unfortunately, the fish was a shark. Equally unfortunate: Brett was in a kayak, and he didn\u2019t let go of his fishing rod.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_s2mail":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-674","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-funny-bits"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/674","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=674"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/674\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":676,"href":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/674\/revisions\/676"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=674"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=674"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=674"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}