{"id":705,"date":"2018-04-17T01:58:41","date_gmt":"2018-04-17T01:58:41","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/?p=705"},"modified":"2018-04-17T11:48:55","modified_gmt":"2018-04-17T11:48:55","slug":"brendas-travel-guide-extraordinaire-part-two","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/archives\/705","title":{"rendered":"Brenda\u2019s Travel Guide Extraordinaire (Part Two\u2026)"},"content":{"rendered":"

I am, of course, a worldly traveler. And by \u201cworldly traveler\u201d I mean that I\u2019ve figured out how to use Google Maps to snoop around other countries while sitting here in my pajamas. You, on the other hand, might be crazy enough to actually get on a virus-laden plane and go somewhere. I don\u2019t recommend it, but if you insist<\/em> on traveling, you\u2019ll find my first moderately-helpful travel guide here<\/strong><\/a>. And now, here are some laws you really should know about before choosing your destination:<\/p>\n

China:<\/strong> Tibetan monks are not allowed to reincarnate anyone for you unless they have the government\u2019s written permission.<\/p>\n

France:\u2028<\/strong> Here, it\u2019s illegal to marry a dead person. So if you\u2019re planning a destination wedding, make sure your betrothed is in good health.<\/p>\n

The Philippines:<\/strong> \u201cUnjust vexation\u201d is considered a punishable offense in the Philippines. So, be careful\u2014only vex Filipinos justly.<\/p>\n

England:<\/strong> It is illegal to (a) ride in a taxi if you have the plague, (b) die in the House of Parliament, or (c) operate a cow while intoxicated.<\/p>\n

Italy:<\/strong> The island of Capri has banned noisy footwear, such as flip-flops, clogs and squeaky shoes. In Eraclea (near Venice), sandcastles are banned as a matter of “public decorum.”<\/p>\n

Germany:<\/strong> If you wish to ice skate in Frankfurt, you must<\/em> stay below the 50 mile per hour speed limit.<\/p>\n

Poland:<\/strong>\u2028 Polish politicians have outlawed Winnie the Pooh in playgrounds. He\u2019s considered a dangerous influence on children, since he does not have pants or genitals.<\/p>\n

Australia:<\/strong> In Western Australia, it\u2019s illegal to have more than 50 kilograms (110 pounds) of potatoes in your possession. In Victoria, they\u2019ll charge you if you attempt any rain-making activities.<\/p>\n

Switzerland:<\/strong> The Swiss have a strict ban on naked hiking in the Alps. Don\u2019t say I didn\u2019t warn you.<\/p>\n

Some U.S. notables:<\/strong>
\n*In Missouri, it\u2019s illegal to drive with an uncaged bear.
\n*Camel hunting is banned in Nevada, and whaling is banned in Oklahoma (a landlocked state).<\/p>\n

Oh, and a final word of warning: Do not<\/em> take your pet chicken to Quitman, Georgia. In this city, it\u2019s illegal for chickens to cross the road. Some people have no sense of humor.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I am, of course, a worldly traveler. And by \u201cworldly traveler\u201d I mean that I\u2019ve figured out how to use Google Maps to snoop around other countries while sitting here in my pajamas. You, on the other hand,<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_s2mail":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-705","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-funny-bits"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/705","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=705"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/705\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":707,"href":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/705\/revisions\/707"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=705"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=705"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=705"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}