{"id":755,"date":"2018-10-02T01:14:59","date_gmt":"2018-10-02T01:14:59","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/?p=755"},"modified":"2019-03-14T12:04:27","modified_gmt":"2019-03-14T12:04:27","slug":"moby-dork-or-how-to-use-cold-water-to-fix-stuff","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/archives\/755","title":{"rendered":"Moby Dork (or: How to use cold water to fix stuff)"},"content":{"rendered":"

I haven\u2019t posted anything in two weeks\u2026sorry about that. I\u2019ve been distracted by my granddaughter (her newest photo is below). Despite the fact that her main focus appears to be coating the house with vomit and explosive diarrhea, she\u2019s adorable. <\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

But back to this week\u2019s topic: Cold water bathing. I recently stumbled across a couple of studies suggesting that drenching yourself in freezing cold water for 60 seconds each day can strengthen your immune system and help treat depression. <\/span><\/p>\n

Just in case you don\u2019t believe me, here are the links: Torture study #1<\/a> and Torture study #2<\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n

Of course, I do<\/i> like to make myself miserable in the name of science, so I decided to try cold water bathing. For four days straight, I had my usual hot shower, then I turned the hot water off\u2014suddenly, entirely, completely off\u2014<\/i>and blasted myself with ice water for 60 seconds. I\u2019ve done this four times, so that makes me an expert. Here are the pearls of wisdom that I would like to pass along, just in case you<\/i> want to try something this unpleasant:<\/span><\/p>\n

*Self-control is key.<\/b> To be clear, cold water therapy is the opposite<\/i> of ripping off a bandaid. You don\u2019t just make one small move and then endure the discomfort until it fades. No, after you shut off the hot water, your brain will mount an aggressive attack against you. It will fight for the use of your legs so it can get you the hell out of there. Have you ever watched a squirrel\u2019s reaction when it gets trapped indoors? That\u2019s what your brain will do as soon as the ice water hits your skin. Ignore the squirrel\u2014if you scramble out of the tub now, you\u2019ll just soak the floor.<\/span><\/p>\n

*Your bladder is going to lie.<\/b> When the ice water hits your skin, you\u2019re going to think an elephant is standing on your bladder. You\u2019re going to think you\u2019ve just chugged a gallon of water. You\u2019re going to think you absolutely must<\/i> go pee. You don\u2019t. Your bladder is lying\u2014it\u2019s trying to get you to jump out of the tub. Ignore it. As soon as you shut off the water, your bladder squirrel will calm down. <\/span><\/p>\n

*Your lungs will be your enemy. <\/b>Take a really deep breath<\/i> before you blast yourself with ice water\u2014because that\u2019s the last gasp of oxygen that you\u2019re going to get until you turn off the tap. Your lungs are going to try to kill you. As soon as the cold water hits your skin, you will not<\/i> be able to inhale\u2014it\u2019s your lungs\u2019 way of saying \u201cstop this or you die.\u201d You won\u2019t<\/i> die. Seriously. It\u2019s only one minute without functioning lungs\u2014you\u2019ll be fine. <\/span><\/p>\n

You\u2019re probably asking: But does cold water therapy actually work? Well, according to the studies it does. And\u2014although I hate to admit it\u2014I haven\u2019t had pneumonia or felt depressed for the last four days. Am I going to continue? Of course not\u2014that would be ridiculous. Wine also improves immunity and makes me happy\u2014and I<\/i> have a corkscrew.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I haven\u2019t posted anything in two weeks\u2026sorry about that. I\u2019ve been distracted by my granddaughter (her newest photo is below). Despite the fact that her main focus appears to be coating the house with vomit and explosive diarrhea, she\u2019s adorable.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_s2mail":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[4,2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-755","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-funny-bits","category-health-news"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/755","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=755"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/755\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":859,"href":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/755\/revisions\/859"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=755"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=755"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=755"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}