{"id":790,"date":"2019-01-29T03:07:42","date_gmt":"2019-01-29T03:07:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/?p=790"},"modified":"2019-02-16T19:00:07","modified_gmt":"2019-02-16T19:00:07","slug":"want-to-cut-your-own-hair-i-have-some-advice","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/archives\/790","title":{"rendered":"Want to cut your own hair?<\/br> I have some advice"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

The last time I was in a secondhand store a book caught my eye\u2014How to cut your own or anybody else\u2019s hair<\/em>. It was on sale for $2. I did some speedy math. If haircuts cost $55 each, and if I could avoid<\/em> paying that sum six times every year\u2026I could save $6,600 over the next 20 years. I bought the book and brought it home, and it sat here, untouched, for four years. Until tonight. Tonight I was bored. Ukulele practice had been cancelled and I had nothing pressing to do. <\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

So I grabbed the necessary supplies\u2014a large glass of wine, scissors, a comb and, of course, the book\u2014and headed to the bathroom. How hard could it be?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Turns out it\u2019s easy<\/em> to cut your own hair (surprised you, didn\u2019t I?). Now, if you\u2019re one of those fancy pants, snooty people who insists<\/em> on having your hair cut in actual straight lines, stop reading and go straight to a salon. But if Caught In A Woodchipper <\/strong>is your usual hairstyle, and you have no aspirations that you\u2019ll ever look any better than you do right now, I highly recommend this book (it was published in 1975 and revised in 1983, so I can assure you it\u2019s very up-to-date).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I do have two suggestions, though:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

#1:<\/strong> The book says to start with wet hair. You should listen to the book. I have a double crown, plus a big chunk of weird, wavy hair at the back of my head. I ignored the book and cut my hair without wetting it. Now the back of my head looks like I was attacked by a rabid ferret. Since I put my hair \u201cup\u201d every day\u2014in one of those cheap plastic clips that I\u2019m sure all the runway models will be wearing, soon\u2014this isn\u2019t a problem for me. But if you\u2019re wanting one of those fancy new hairstyles that doesn\u2019t look like it belongs in an autopsy photo, you\u2019ll want to start with wet hair.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

#2:<\/strong> I drank wine while cutting my hair. I would not recommend this. Mirrors invert images left to right. So if you\u2019re staring into a mirror while holding a small chunk of hair in one hand, bringing sharp, pointy scissors up to your head with the other hand, and trying to cut on a very specific angle, well\u2026bad things can happen. If you\u2019re drinking wine while doing this, bad things will<\/em> happen. Luckily, I only needed two bandaids\u2014plus I nicked my left<\/em> hand, which isn\u2019t the one I use to hold my wine glass, so I\u2019m going to be just fine. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

In short, if you\u2019re tired of outsourcing your personal hygiene and would like to save $6,600 over the next 20 years, How to cut your own or anybody else\u2019s hair<\/em> can help. It offers step-by-step instructions for a variety of 1970s haircuts that will help you fit right in at your local senior\u2019s home\u2014or you can follow my lead and create your very own (and possibly very<\/em> unique) hairstyle, with minimal bloodshed if you hold off on the wine. And the book only costs $2. What have you got to lose?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The last time I was in a secondhand store a book caught my eye\u2014How to cut your own or anybody else\u2019s hair. It was on sale for $2. I did some speedy math. If haircuts cost $55 each, and if I could avoid paying that sum six times every year\u2026I could save $6,600 over the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_s2mail":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-790","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-funny-bits"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/790","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=790"}],"version-history":[{"count":13,"href":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/790\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":805,"href":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/790\/revisions\/805"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=790"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=790"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/brendakearns.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=790"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}