Want a great conversation starter? A 10-foot long, 150-pound inflatable colon is your best bet, according to John Ashcraft, M.D., a University of Kansas cancer specialist. There’s only one problem: Dr. Ashcraft’s favorite colon has been stolen.
That’s right. On October 18, some hooligans saw the colon on the back of a pickup truck in Kansas City, Missouri, and staggered off with it (I’m assuming they staggered—I mean, the colon weighed 150 pounds).
The nonprofit group that had paid $4,000 for the colon felt pretty crappy about this. They’d been hoping to blow up the colon and set it out at a local marathon so runners could stagger through it (I’m assuming they’d stagger—I mean, this was a marathon).
Instead, the runners crossed the finish line without seeing the inner workings of a diseased colon—and the Colon Cancer Coalition had to raise money to replace this important asset.
Turns out people were so moved by this shitty turn of events that the money flooded in (here’s the link, in case you don’t believe me). The Colon Cancer Coalition now has enough money to buy two brand-new colons.
So, like every good Nancy Drew novel, The Mystery of the Stolen Colon, has a happy ending. But please remember to get screened for colon cancer—that is, after all, the whole reason Dr. Ashcraft loves showing off his inflatable colon.
Danny just had a colonoscopy last week. So very important! My nephew, only 39, has been diagnosed with colon cancer that has attached to his liver. Would so appreciate prayers for Sean.
On the lighter note, glad Dr. Ashcraft’s colon has been restored.
Blessings, Brenda!
Thank you for your note, Martha. I hope Sean’s treatments are successful, and I’m so glad that Danny got screened. Keep me posted about how Sean is doing, please!
Brenda
Gosh Brenda I had 24 CM of my Colon removed July 2 and I have to get my 2nd surgery to re-attach my colon to my rectum in December as I have to wait 6 months to heal. My Colon wasn’t stolen but it sure hurts to have it taken out! Take care of that sucker or feel the Pain that is if you live through the Sepsis. So the bottom line I guess is Eat Your Fiber!
OUCH, Joe! I hope you feel better now!
If it were any lower on the body, you could say it was “The Case of the Purloined Loins”. 😀
Ha! Love it 🙂