1. Don’t overthink current fashions. Three words: Drop crotch pants. What are they hiding in there? Bath towels? Throw pillows? A microwave? My advice: Take photos and say nothing. You’ll have great ammo for their wedding slideshow.
2. Lower your standards. No, lower…One of my kids recently gave me a coffee mug that says “World’s Okayest Mom” on it. I use that mug with pride. I’ve hit the point where mediocre is what I’m striving for (if fewer than 60% of my kids need counseling during adulthood, I’ll consider that a win). Lowering my standards has really taken the pressure off. You should try it.
3. Don’t overthink current hairstyles. My girls all went through a hair straightening phase. They’d plug in the straightener, wait until it was hot enough to melt glass and then drag it through their hair until their gorgeous, thick locks turned into sad, wispy strands that hung limply over their ears. My advice: Take photos and say nothing—remember, that wedding slideshow is coming some day.
4. Bite your tongue—but get revenge. Ever had a teen sulk while you’re scrubbing the floor because he can’t get to the fridge for a snack? It’s tempting to yell, “Oh, I’m sorry, is your free maid getting in the way of your free food?” But you don’t want to teach kids how to be sarcastic until after they’ve moved out. Instead, I recommend hiding a large stash of expensive chocolates and refusing to share. If you’re stuck living with a teen, you should be allowed to be a jerk, too.
5. Give up. You’re wrong. Did you make all their baby food from scratch? Congratulations, you turned them into spoiled, entitled brats. Did you feed them the store-bought stuff? Congratulations, they probably ingested 20 pounds of arsenic and scrap metal in their first year of life. Treating all your kids the same? Clearly, you’re ruining them by being inflexible. Adjusting your expectations based on their personalities and circumstances? Clearly, you’re ruining them by picking favorites.
Give up. Seriously. If you cook enough meals, they’ll buy you the World’s Okayest mug. Eventually.
Brenda: I love it. Well said as we have been there three times, as you know, but now we are watching seven more times in a slightly different position as our seven Grandchildren complete the various stages of growing up, adjusting their hair style, the very tight pants, and a few other habits that kind of stand out in a special way.
Bless you for the high quality job you have done. I must say that now I am a “Grand” Parent it is a little more difficult to hold the comments that I once so freely gave.
Bless you,
Arnold
You’re at the fun stage, now, yes? You get to watch your grandchildren cause turmoil for your kids – just the way your kids did to YOU years ago 🙂
Brenda
I am waiting for my worlds Kayest mom mug. Then I will know I have made it. Meanwhile, enjoying yur post and feeling I have a tribe out there I belong to.
Let me know when you get your mug – it will be well-deserved! 🙂
Lolling right now.
I’m glad – I hope you have a great day, Colleen 🙂