Sleepwalkers “R” Us

Last year, a 19-year-old girl in Colorado climbed out of bed and started sleepwalking. She walked nine miles (barefoot) before waking up. A few weeks ago, a 66-year-old man in South Wales peddled his bike off a bridge. In his sleep. Neither story surprised me (I sleepwalk, too).

I wish I was one of those sleepwalkers who just wanders around the room, looking confused. No, I have more energy than that.

I’ve filled a kettle and made tea (by reusing the stale water that someone had left in a hot water bottle). I’ve pulled all the sheets off a bed, because I was convinced there were spiders on the pillow. I’ve jumped up and down in the middle of a room, trying to reach the cats that only I could see were stuck to the ceiling.

As a sleepwalker, I have a few suggestions for all of you non-sleepwalkers out there:

*Talk to us—it helps. True, you may have to listen to a story about ceiling cats or pillow spiders, but if you play along, we’ll have a nice chat and then go back to sleep.

*It’s okay to wake us up. Have you heard that you shouldn’t wake a sleepwalker? It’s a myth. I’ve cut my eyebrow walking into a door frame, and got a concussion when I fell backwards onto a wooden floor. Sure, sleepwalkers get confused when you wake them up—but confusion is better than bloodshed.

*Quit looking at us like that. Approximately 13% of kids—and 4% of adults—sometimes sleepwalk. And it makes us feel bad when we wake up and see you staring at us like we’re the Kraken. So put a fake smile on your face. And consider carpeting. Seriously. It took me weeks to recover from that concussion.

4 thoughts on “Sleepwalkers “R” Us

  1. Arnold Forsyth

    Very good! Loved it! My Brother was a sleep walker in real life. I remember one night he got up (sleep walking) and went into his close-closet to wash his hands. My Dad followed him in and asked what he was doing? He simply said: “like any other human….just washing my hands”.
    Thanks Brenda for the memories.

    Arnold

    Reply

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