Last week, I decided to try my hand at picture framing—I decided to try one of those DIY projects that I love to watch on decorating shows. All things considered, I think it went pretty well. And by “all things considered,” I mean that I still have 10 fingers and the vacuum is working, again.

Here’s what happened: I’d been given some old black and white photos of my parents (their baby pictures, pictures from when they were dating—that sort of thing). Continue reading →

These days, my favorite breakfast is plain yogurt topped with pomegranate seeds and Bran Buds. The Bran Buds are there because they’re loaded with sugar, which helps hide the fact that plain yogurt—although healthy—tastes like solidified goat snot.

The problem is the pomegranates. Continue reading →

It’s almost Christmas. Which means—as it does every year—that the furry little jerks are sneaking indoors, again.

Wednesday morning, I found a dead mouse in the living room. My two cats—who had managed to kill the mouse, even though they’re old, fat and declawed—sat proudly nearby. I picked up the mouse and did my heebie-jeebie dance to the garbage can. Problem solved, right?

Wrong. Continue reading →