As I was slogging home from the grocery store—with a large knapsack of groceries on my back, plus two bags of groceries on each arm—I came to a realization. I realized the problem wasn’t the cabbage. The problem was that I’m an idiot. Continue reading →

Wouldn’t it be great if you could win a Nobel Prize for proving that people are more likely to take risks at slot machines after touching live crocodiles? Well, you can’t—the Nobel Prize committee has no interest in reptile-induced gambling sprees. Thankfully, you can win an Ig Nobel Prize. Continue reading →

Have you ever been dragged out of a deep sleep by a massive muscle spasm in your leg? That happened to me this week, except the muscle spasm wasn’t in my leg—it was somewhere deep in my intestines. I am, of course, a logical person—so I quickly deduced that I was dying and I’d better empty my bladder so the paramedics wouldn’t find my body in a puddle of pee (in my defense, my thinking tends to be a bit muddied at 2 am).

So I leapt out of bed (way too quickly, I would soon discover) Continue reading →