I’d like to talk about something momentous that happened on Friday, November 20: The residents of Jersey Shore, Pennsylvania, finally found out why their town was turning into Sewage Shore, Pennsylvania. That’s right—Jersey Shore had started to smell. Really smell. The odor was described as a cross between a dead deer, old gym socks and a bad fart.

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1. Don’t overthink current fashions. Three words: Drop crotch pants. What are they hiding in there? Bath towels? Throw pillows? A microwave? Continue reading →

I’ve decided to ditch my usual New Year’s resolutions. The odds that I’ll actually become uber-fit, learn to meditate or cut back on coffee are—and here, I’m making a rough calculation—zero. Instead, for my 2017 New Year’s resolution, I’ve decided to focus on worrying my kids. Now, hear me out:

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