Last week, I didn’t know what a toilet flange was. Now I own one—and it cost me $1,395.
Here’s what happened: Yesterday morning, I noticed a puddle spreading out from under the toilet in our main floor bathroom. That’s an icky discovery at the best of times. It’s even worse when the water-logged bathroom happens to be right beside the kitchen table. Panic ensued. Parents were called. Off we went to Home Depot to buy a toilet flange. And while my dad wandered through the store, hunting for flanges, my mom and I stopped to admire a gas stove. A gas stove which—coincidentally—happened to be on sale.
I would like to state right now that I was not in the market for a new gas stove. True, I hate the one that came with this house (just to clean the cooktop, I have to remove 19 different cast iron bits and pieces). But I’m saving up so I can gut and update the entire kitchen in a couple of years. That’s when I was going to replace this horrid stove.
But my 81-year-old mother—the smartest woman I’ve ever met—announced that if I bought the gas stove we were staring at (which—coincidentally—happened to be on sale) I might actually start loving my kitchen, and I could put off the massive, and obscenely expensive kitchen renovation that I’ve been muttering about for the last year.
Well, there was a time when I didn’t listen to my mom—a time, in fact, when I thought it was hilarious to ignore her completely, do the exact opposite of what she was suggesting and watch her frustration bubble up at having raised such a jerk. But that was last year. I’ve grown up since then. So I carefully considered her suggestion, then came home with a toilet flange. Just a toilet flange.
You’re thinking I came home with a stove, aren’t you? Well, you’re wrong. The stove is being delivered next week.
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But it was on sale … how were you supposed to resist?
At last…someone who understands me 🙂
You also bought a NEW toilet to go with the flange!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well, the stove was on sale — I had to do SOMETHING with the rest of my kids’ inheritance.
Brenda, inquiring minds what to know, what is the first thing you plan to cook on your brand new $1,395 toilet flange. Actually of greater import to one who is fond of cookies *hint, hint*, what is the first thing you plan to bake? Of course, with you having a new stove, if the flange acts up, you can burn the sucker. Sounds like a win-win to me. *smiles*
Tana, you’re hilarious! The first thing I cooked (in the oven) was home-made pizzas – they were amazing. Than I tried making naan bread (so I could use the stove top) and they turned out fantastic, too. My youngest kid has made cookies, so drop by any time 🙂 The flange is behaving itself so far – this is feeling like a very high-tech (ie. functioning) house!