Okay, we’re at the three-week point in this kitchen, powder room and laundry room renovation (you’ll find my oh-so-insightful comments on Day 11 here). The back half of my house now has all sorts of things that it didn’t have when I moved in—such as insulation, and wiring that won’t burst into flames while we sleep. It also now has—and I’m very excited about this—drywall. Here’s what I’ve learned this week:
*Tortillas rule. Is there anything better than dumping whatever’s in the fridge onto a tortilla, smothering it with cheese and then microwaving it until it’s the temperature of molten lava? Okay, there probably is, but my kitchen won’t be finished for another eight weeks, so most of our dinners consist of molten lava tortillas (or, as I like to call them, “Be grateful you have food”).
*Barbecues are evil. I had a three pound slab of steelhead trout in the freezer, and I was getting a little tired of tortillas. So I decided to try barbecuing. For the first time. Within minutes, I’d cremated a piece of fish that was the size of my liver and was worth more than my car. I scraped as much as I could off the grill, dumped it into a tortilla and smothered it with molten lava cheese. I should have just set my wallet on fire.
*You never know when karate will come in handy. This week, the construction crew installed a support beam to stop my bedroom from falling into the kitchen. It’s working beautifully—the upstairs floor is no longer shaped like a hammock. Unfortunately, this alteration has angered the house. As soon as the support beam went into place, the kitchen door jammed shut and spit out its doorknob. Now, whenever we need to open the kitchen door, I have to head out the front door, run half-way around the house, and Jackie Chan the stuck door open with a rather energetic thrust kick.
*Cats are still jerks. How are my cats handling the reno, you ask? Well, they’ve stopped stress farting (that was week 1), and I’m no longer living in Puke-a-Palooza (that was week 2). Now, they’ve decided to embrace the reno. Every day, they spend hours dancing through piles of drywall dust, then they race through the rest of the house, rubbing against every surface that they can find. They’ve become the Anti-Swiffers.
What’s next? Well, the construction crew is busy mudding and taping this week, and that means sanding is next. I bet my cats can’t wait.
Thanks for sharing. I feel like I’m watching an episode of Fixer Upper. Love your humor.
I’m starting to suspect that shows like Fixer Upper (and especially Brother vs. Brother) are NOT FILMING some significant parts of this process. Especially when they claim that they’re gutting and renovating a kitchen in one week. Excuse me?!
And the mess continues, but so does your fantastic sense of humor. 🙂 Hang in there, Brenda!
I’m hanging, Martha! I may never eat a tortilla, again, after this is over!
Ugh I’m so sorry you must be famished maybe your wonderfully thoughtful neighbour should make some premise meals for you to microwave for when your sick of those tortillas 😏
Ooooooh…I never thought of that!! I’m looking forward to our first pizza lunch in the freshly-renovated kitchen (once it has things like a table, lights and, oh, flooring… 🙂
When everything is done, you have done so much, I think you should hang a sign out front and charge admission for tours of the new establishment.
Way to go Brenda…….congratulations in tackling such a big job.
Arnold
Awesome idea, LOL! 🙂
Shucks … just when we going to take you out for tortillas!!!
NO THANK YOU!!
I feel your pain. This is hilarious—-cats as “Anti-Swiffers”—HAHAHA!
Thank you, Marcia – these cats have NOT been making this any easier!