Last week, I filled you in on the tumultuous start to my kitchen reno (you can read about it here). My kitchen now has no walls, no ceiling, no flooring, no cabinets, no insulation, no wiring and no plumbing. In case you’re planning on doing something this foolish, here are a few things you should know:
*Knob and tube is alive and (un)well. Knob and tube wiring was used in the early 1900s. It was a nifty invention for folks who wanted indoor lighting and didn’t mind if their walls occasionally burst into flames. Think knob and tube is no longer used? Don’t be naive. It’s still buried in the walls of a multitude of old homes—and when an electrician has to rip it all out and rewire an entire house, well, it’s time to sell off your cutest kid, because this is going to get pricey.
*Sometimes insulation doesn’t…insulate. The construction workers have demolished three rooms—the kitchen, powder room and laundry room. Oddly, they only found insulation behind the walls of the laundry room—a space so numbingly cold that it’s been doubling as a second refrigerator in the winter.
*Cats are jerks. I mentioned how the first few days of sledgehammering turned my cats into stress-farting fiends. Now they’ve changed tactics—they sneak into the basement as soon as the construction crew arrives, gorge themselves on cat food and then run upstairs and barf in as many rooms as possible. I’m living in Puke-a-Palooza.
*Mirrors are overrated. I have no idea what I look like each morning, because there’s no hydro to my bathroom (thanks to the ripped-out knob and tube). I’m not saying this is a bad thing—I’m actually happier when I don’t have to look at myself in the morning—but if you’re hung up about good grooming, practice putting on mascara while staring at a wall before letting contractors into your home.
*The right dinner fixes everything. I’ve discovered the secret to staying happy when it sounds like rabid beavers are attacking your house and a thick layer of dust is coating everything you own. Here’s what to do: Toss a slab of meat into a slow cooker and let it simmer all day. Once the construction crew leaves, pile that meat into a rollup, cover it with enough cheese to make your neighbor’s arteries thicken and serve it with a glass of wine the size of a goldfish bowl. Feeling better? I thought so.
This should be an interesting week. The construction crew will be installing an enormous steel beam to stop the upstairs floors from drooping down into the kitchen (turns out 200-year-old wooden beams do eventually sag). The goal is to get the beam in place without cracking every plaster wall upstairs. I’ll keep you posted.
You have succeeded in convincing me we NEVER need to remodel. Good luck, Brenda!
Martha, I’m convincing MYSELF to never remodel. It’s too late for me, though – save yourself!!
Good luck with the beam (she says hoping to lower yours ur stress just a smidge with the pretence that we don’t already know there is only one way this COULD go).
Two goldfish bowls. Before you look.
Two goldfish bowls…you’re very wise 🙂
Ironically, I’ve been told that this is a fairly SMOOTH reno. Apparently, when old houses are being renovated, it’s usually a whole lot worse than this (although I can’t imagine that!!)
Enjoying your posts. Have never done a reno.
Oh, Marianne – you’re missing out! There’s nothing like a reno to make you REALLY appreciate your house when it isn’t torn apart and covered with dust 🙂
Ha! I could have warned you, if you’d asked. I had just renovated a 1910 Victorian house for six years. We sold it and moved to a partially renovated 1979 brick one-story I call the Hobbit House. Last year it was being remodeled for 6 months–3 months of me painting and tiling the backsplash, and 3 months of builders building closets in the bathrooms, etc. Then the roof needed replaced. Right now builders are adding an addition for a screened porch, My husband and I swear this is it. No more. (Other than 3 more rooms I still need to paint.)
Best of luck with your renovations! You’ll love it when it is finally finished.
Christine, I like your “My husband and I swear this is it,” comment. Are you SURE about that? I’ve heard a lot of people say that before 🙂
Hi Brenda:
The Construction guys being there for 11 days…… I am sure you must be feeding them too much. You mentioned the detail that has been removed from your Kitchen. It sounds like there isn’t much left of the Kitchen. Time to move back Home with Mom and Dad Brenda and live for free! No dust in their Home and they do have a perfect Kitchen. All the very best Brenda as I am sure you will love the “new” home.
Arnold
Hello Mr. Forsyth,
You’re hilarious! I’ll pass along your suggestion to my dad. But I think, at this point, he’s already tired of driving me and my mom all around the area checking out flooring and counter top samples. If I suggest moving IN with them, he’ll probably change the locks 🙂
Brenda
Hi Brenda,
Just make sure you don’t have any rugs covering up holes in your floor (thinking of The Money Pit). And maybe you can find a good deal on cases of wine. Hang in there, Brenda!
Good point, Colleen! No rugs until all the holes in this floor are filled, LOL!