It was January 1, 2013. But first, a little background:
Marsha Skrypuch is an author. She’s published 16 novels, and has received 47 awards and nominations for her work. She’s also co-owner of an author’s booking service, and runs an online critique group for writers. Oh, and she’s one of the nicest people I’ve ever met.
I have no idea how she does it all. I’m in awe. I’m also a bit irritated, because I sit here writing for eight hours a day every day (including most weekends), and I’m nowhere near that successful.
And here’s the kicker: Marsha also walks. She walks a lot. While I’m sitting here writing and getting flabby, she’s writing while she walks on a treadmill. Marsha walked 2012 kilometres in 2012 (that’s 1250 miles—over 47 marathons). And what was I doing while Marsha was walking 47 marathons? Sitting here. Getting flabby.
On January 1, 2013, I officially snapped. Marsha’s goal for 2013 was to walk 2013 kilometres. I was not going to be left in the dust, again. I was going to walk 2050 kilometres—I was going to out-walk Marsha Skrypuch!
I stomped out to the barn and found a piece of plywood that I could use as a treadmill desk. I didn’t have any way of securing it in place, but that was okay. I’d be careful. I balanced the plywood across the treadmill’s handles, put my laptop right in the middle of the board and hopped on.
Now, Marsha walks at about 1.5 mph. So I set my treadmill for 3.5 mph. After all, if I was going to beat Marsha’s 47 marathons, I was going to have to push myself. I started walking and writing. Well, to be honest, I started walking and making typos. I couldn’t keep my fingers on the right keys. I couldn’t scroll smoothly. I couldn’t highlight accurately…I also couldn’t catch my breath. I was going to have to slow down.
I reached for the speed button, but caught my sleeve on the plywood desk, instead. As it slid off the treadmill’s handles, I quickly grabbed my laptop. For a brief second, I was impressed—I had pretty good reflexes! Then the plywood hit the treadmill belt, smashed into my shins, shot off the back of the treadmill and smacked into the wall (at 3.5 mph). Sadly, I followed. Holding the laptop over my head in a desperate attempt to save it, I crashed face-first onto the treadmill, shot off the back and smacked into the wall (at 3.5 mph).
Marsha Skrypuch is going to walk 2013 kilometers in 2013. I walked 1.2 kilometers and bruised my ribs. Marsha, you win!
Oh Brenda, this cracked me up! I’m sorry about your pain, really, but I know that this is exactly what would happen to me if I tried to walk and write. Too funny. I also think Marsha is EXTRAORDINARY and am not surprised that she can manage multi-tasking so well. I look forward to following your blog.
Thank you, Shelley. It’s good to hear that I’m not the only one who doesn’t multi-task particularly well. I agree with you about Marsha. I’d love to follow her for a day to see how she manages to accomplish so much. Although I wouldn’t be “following” her…just sitting in a chair watching her walk on a treadmill while being incredibly productive, I suppose!
Brenda
Thank you for your kind words, Shelley! I’m glad to hear I’m not the only klutz 🙂 And I agree with you – Marsha IS extraordinary 🙂
Brenda you are funny , clever and adorable … l would have thought your martial arts expertise may have come in a little handier … tell us you at least split the plywood in half with your forehead !
Sadly, no – the plywood hit the wall behind the treadmill a second or two before my face hit the treadmill. Not my “shining moment,” I must admit!
Brenda
Marsha, Marsha, Marsha…. it’s always Marsha:)
Brenda, I too love Marsha but I KNOW BETTER then to even try keeping up with that woman, I’m NOT into inflicting self pain like others I could mention!
That was a hilarious story! Yes, it’s all fun and games till someone gets hurt and ….WHAT WERE YOU THINKING LADY!!!! 🙂
Sadly, Christine, “thinking” is not one of my strong points! I keep hoping that some day I’ll grow up and become less impulsive – no signs of improvement, yet!
Now if you had just set the treadmill to 1.5 ….
I prefer learning everything the hard way 🙂