I didn’t realize my mistake until I was picking out cover images for my books. Every book—every single book—contained a parrot. A lively, personable, trouble-making parrot. I was floored. I’d written and edited those stories over the last 18 years, and had only recently decided to publish them as ebooks. At no point had I made a conscious decision to let parrots steal the show in every book. Yet there they were, all vying to be part of the cover designs.
So how did I become secretly (and quite cluelessly) obsessed with parrots? Thinking back, it happened over a two-year period in the mid-80s. I was living in an apartment that housed two Amazon parrots, and I was working in a wild bird care center that was the home of an old Macaw. It was such a short period of time, I hadn’t realized how much of an impact those birds had had on me. Here’s why two years with three unique birds turned me into a lifetime parrot lover:
*Parrots have mega personalities. A parrot is a pet with an attitude. A major attitude. Mortimer—the Macaw at the wild bird care center—had to have coffee at breakfast. If he didn’t get his coffee, he’d pace around the kitchen until someone finally poured him a cup. Barney and Sarah, the parrots I was living with, loved peanut butter. But they’d only eat it off dessert spoons (Sarah always held hers with her left foot, Barney with his right). And since Sarah hated having a dirty face, she ended every meal by using the couch as her napkin. If a newcomer came into the apartment, Barney would flirt—puffing up his feathers and doing a silly little dance—to get their attention. And Sarah? She’d get in a snit whenever Barney flirted, and would turn her back on him and sulk.
*Parrots are funny when they’re drunk. Mortimer loved sweet white wine, and if one of the bird care center owners left a glass unattended, he’d lap it up as quickly as he could. And a drunk parrot is not a dignified parrot. Mortimer would lift up one foot to scratch himself and fall right off his perch. After laboriously climbing back up, he’d stretch out his wings…and fall right off the perch, again!
*Parrots are surprisingly destructive. You don’t need a paper shredder if you have a parrot. I lost an entire Oxford dictionary one afternoon because of Sarah. She decided to make a nest, and in the three hours I was gone she demolished the entire dictionary and produced a very impressive bird-sized bungalow.
*Parrots are great trainers. The neighborhood we lived in wasn’t safe enough for evening runs, so I’d jog up and down the apartment stairwell with Barney on my right shoulder. As I raced down the stairs, he’d lean forward, stretch out his neck, spread his wings and bob up and down, pretending he was flying. The much slower trip up the stairs annoyed him, and if I started to run out of steam, he’d bite my ear (hard) to make me speed up. Barney was the best trainer I could have ever had. I became very fit thanks to him!
Those three parrots added a lot of bedlam, dander and laughter to my life. And when I was sorting through cover designs for my books, I realized that even now, 25 years later, I still miss them!
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I remember them well!!! Even their (rather graphic) appraisal)of the painting. Oh well, it did clean off.
Oh! I forgot about that! Wow, they pooped a lot, didn’t they??
I enjoyed your trip down memory lane Brenda . Your posts are great even if too infrequent 😉
Thank you, Derek! I’ll try to post more regularly, now 🙂
I met a Macaw at the Launceston Zoo in Tasmania who melted my heart. He liked to drag his beak along the cage making a squeaking sound that would put everyone’s teeth on edge and make them shriek in horror. Then he’d laugh like a maniac.
Oh, that is SO funny! They’re a bit like teenagers, aren’t they – cute in an obnoxious way! Thank you – you gave me a giggle reading this 🙂
A fun read! I didn’t realize that parrots had such a personality!
They do, yes! They’re just hilarious – it’s like having a kid (or perhaps a goofy teenager) in the house 🙂 I’m so glad you enjoyed the blog – thank you for your feedback.
I loved this! My one parrot: Glitch, kept me busy. I can’t imagine having two. Well… I did have cats too. Thanks for sharing this!
A parrot AND cats at the same time – oh, my! I’ve never combined the two – I hope your cats were too lazy to chase birds 🙂
Wow! I love the idea of a drunk parrot! Sounds like you had some awesome times with them.
I first fell for parrots when I read a book as a kid (can’t even remember the author now) called ‘Harry’s Mad’, about a boy and his African Grey parrot, Madison, who could speak and think like a human. It was a super book.
I’ve never heard of that book – I’ll have to see if it’s still available. It’s interesting that the story was so memorable that you still recall many of the details – must have been well-written. Yes, a drunk parrot is quite a hoot – we had a LOT of laughs watching him try to walk across the kitchen table in a straight line 🙂
I love parrots! They are so quirky aren’t they?! Also as much work as a toddler! My sister had a Macaw and that thing would throw a tantrum like no ones business!
That’s so true – they’re like toddlers, only messier…plus they shed a lot more. Oh, and my dad would like me to point out that they also poop on pictures. My mom (who’s quite an artist) had painted a really nice picture for me. One of our parrots decided to poop mid-air, and managed to hit her painting–the painting was surrounded by bare wall, so this activity looked vaguely intentional. I’ve never heard of a toddler accomplishing THAT feat 🙂