I’m a grandmother, now—one of my daughters had a baby three weeks ago (no, I’m not feeling old—thanks for asking). I must admit, I’ve been enjoying all the firsts. Like the first time the baby lifted her head and turned into a bobblehead doll, and the first time she smacked herself in the face and made herself cry. It’s a lot more fun when you’re not the parent so you know you’re not going to be blamed if they turn out terribly.
I do have a word of advice, though (don’t I always?). It’s about the diapers. Now that cloth diapers aren’t as common, when someone on (and, here, I’m being tactful) an Extremely Tight Budget has a baby, many people are gifting them boxes of disposables. This is actually a very thoughtful gift—especially since a two-year supply of diapers costs more than a purebred Tibetan Mastiff.
But here’s the problem: Almost everyone gifted my daughter (who is on an Extremely Tight Budget) newborn-sized diapers.
These diapers are horribly mislabelled. They are not newborn size—they’re premie size, at best. They might actually be Barbie doll size. Elizabeth weighed less than seven pounds when she was born, and those so-called “newborn” diapers barely fit her on day one. We have a stash of approximately 931 microscopically tiny diapers in the bathroom (give or take a few—I’m not sure how many times she’s pooped since I started typing this) and she grew out of them in the first week.
Lizzie is still wearing the newborn diapers, of course. Under no circumstances are we going to waste free diapers. But now she looks like she’s wearing a puffy thong. And since Lizzie’s poopeus maximus muscles are incredibly well developed—and, as everyone knows, thong underwear is really only for show—she’s creating a stunning mess at least once every day.
So if you’re planning on giving an expectant mom disposable diapers as a gift, please consider opting for a much larger size—and maybe throw in a box of Depends for Grandma.
Loved your e-mail. Congrats to all. Bet you G – Grandma and G – Grandpa are pleased as well.
All the very best to the whole Family.
A. F.
Oh my…died laughing. Funny my granddaughter (slightly older) is still in newborn diapers. We actually had to buy more as everyone bought ones that were too big LOL
Congrats my friend on you new pooh machine! Xoxo
Fabulous advice! Keep it coming! xoxox Amy, Bubbie-to-be
Congratulations! This is exciting. I’d try to return some of those diapers to the big box stores in exchange for a larger size. They’re pretty good about that even if you don’t have a receipt. Beautiful baby.
Yes I agree was going to suggest returning any unopened diapers for a larger size – just say it was a gift and they will let you change them for larger size
Wonderful news, Brenda! Being a grandparent is the best, believe me. You will enjoy every moment of Lizzie’s development, pooping or not – lol!
And as for the diapers? If the packages aren’t opened, just return them for larger sizes.
Blessings and congrats to all!
Sadly…[drumroll, please]…the new mom has taken all the individual diapers and arranged them in neat little piles in the bathroom (in the drawers, on the floor…). So they’re not returnable at this stage. We’ll be dressing Lizzy in puffy thongs for a few more months 🙂
For heaven’s sake get hold of the manufacturer and get them to replace or you will be sending them all these wonderfully inefficient products with production messes free of charge!!!!
Enjoy her!
And some ideas
https://www.instructables.com/id/11-Unusual-Uses-for-Diapers/
Increasing crop yields! Too funny 🙂 Thank you, Cheryl!
Congrats Brenda!
Your humour makes me giggle every time!
Thank you, Suzanne 🙂
I have never read your page before until now. And they 3 blogs I have read are making me laugh.
Being a writer is something I’ve thought about. Photography is my back-up. If you have any tips please help me out as you are extremely gifted and I am only a 19 year old girl who has next to no skill.
Although email isn’t an easy way to contact me. Facebook is my main go-to.
~Kenadee Skye Maclean.
💖
Hello Kenadee – thanks for reading my blog 🙂