I’m sitting here sipping a hot cup of mud (that’s turmeric tea—a brew that I highly recommend if you’ve already lost the will to live). I’m doing this because, a few nights ago, I watched the Canadian women’s hockey team compete in the Olympic games and now I’m inspired. Not to play hockey, of course—that would be ridiculous. The last time I put on skates, Continue reading
A few days ago, one of my kids stopped by for a visit. On his way out, he started coughing uncontrollably.
“Huh,” the cocky lobe of my brain thought. “It’s been four years since I’ve been sick. I must be quite healthy.”
“You shouldn’t even think that!” my anxiety lobe screamed. “You’ve heard of Murphy’s Law, haven’t you?” Continue reading
I knew that if I tried hard enough, I could learn to calm my mind, focus and even—dare I say it?—meditate. Turns out I was wrong. Continue reading
I won’t be traveling anywhere in the near future (or the far future, for that matter). But you might be—and that’s why I’ve taken time out of my busy schedule of wine drinking and cat petting to create this helpful guide for travelers. You’re welcome.
Hate long plane flights? Scotland offers the shortest commercial flight in the world. It travels 1.7 miles from Westray to Papa Westray, and takes just 53 seconds. Unfortunately, Continue reading
A lot of people aren’t making New Year’s resolutions this year. I think they should. New Year’s resolutions give you the opportunity to look ahead and mull over exactly how much you’re willing to change in a 12-month period. Here are my resolutions for 2018:
1. I will accept, and even embrace, my total dependence on caffeine to get through the day, and wine to self-medicate in the evenings. Continue reading
Champagne, parties, fattening food…there are a lot of things we associate with New Year’s Eve. But if you’d like to try something new—and you like throwing stuff—here are some fun traditions to consider:
Tired of your dishes? In Denmark, people grab their ugliest plates and bowls, then skulk around on New Year’s Eve throwing them at the front doors of their friends. Apparently, Continue reading
My parents celebrated their 55th wedding anniversary last May. I’m not sure which one that is—diamond? gold? arsenic? Whatever…they’ve been together 55 years, and they get along great. Then last week it finally happened—The Big Fight. The trigger? My mom wanted to get into my dad’s pants. Continue reading
As I was slogging home from the grocery store—with a large knapsack of groceries on my back, plus two bags of groceries on each arm—I came to a realization. I realized the problem wasn’t the cabbage. The problem was that I’m an idiot. Continue reading
Wouldn’t it be great if you could win a Nobel Prize for proving that people are more likely to take risks at slot machines after touching live crocodiles? Well, you can’t—the Nobel Prize committee has no interest in reptile-induced gambling sprees. Thankfully, you can win an Ig Nobel Prize. Continue reading
Have you ever been dragged out of a deep sleep by a massive muscle spasm in your leg? That happened to me this week, except the muscle spasm wasn’t in my leg—it was somewhere deep in my intestines. I am, of course, a logical person—so I quickly deduced that I was dying and I’d better empty my bladder so the paramedics wouldn’t find my body in a puddle of pee (in my defense, my thinking tends to be a bit muddied at 2 am).
So I leapt out of bed (way too quickly, I would soon discover) Continue reading