Day 11: The Horror Continues

Last week, I filled you in on the tumultuous start to my kitchen reno (you can read about it here). My kitchen now has no walls, no ceiling, no flooring, no cabinets, no insulation, no wiring and no plumbing. In case you’re planning on doing something this foolish, here are a few things you should know:

*Knob and tube is alive and (un)well. Knob and tube wiring was used in the early 1900s. It was a nifty invention for folks who wanted indoor lighting and didn’t mind if their walls occasionally burst into flames. Continue reading

Day 1: And so it begins…

I had a frontal lobotomy in March. At least I’m assuming that’s what happened because—after years of merely daydreaming about getting my kitchen, powder room and laundry room renovated—I actually picked up the phone and called someone. Yesterday, the contractors arrived—with crowbars, sledgehammers and chainsaws. I think I heard the house scream. Continue reading

Yes, This Does Make Me Feel Old
(thanks for asking)

Since 1999, Ontario has had a program called Drive Clean. It’s designed to stop people from driving cars that spew out a ton of pollution. Older cars have to get checked every two years just to be registered.

So, every two years, I take whatever relic I’m driving into town for this test. And every time, my car passes.

This time, my car failed. Horribly, miserably, dramatically failed. Continue reading

Forget the Nobel Prize,
I’d love an Ig Nobel Prize!

Wouldn’t it be great if you could win a Nobel Prize for proving that herring communicate by farting at each other? Well, you can’t—the Nobel Prize committee has no interest in gassy fish. Thankfully, you can win an Ig Nobel Prize. That’s what happened to Ben Wilson and Lawrence Dill, two Canadian professors who won the Ig Nobel Prize for Biology in 2004 for this fascinating farting discovery.

The Ig Nobel Prize ceremonies have been held at Harvard University Continue reading

Just Call Me Quasimodo

One week ago, I started walking like Quasimodo. I couldn’t stand up straight, couldn’t bend over properly and couldn’t lift my right leg. I had a massive muscle spasm where my leg attaches to the hip. Here’s what I learned during this long, long week….

1. Some injuries just sound…stupid. I’d wrecked myself while cleaning under the beds. That’s right—I’d developed an SDI (a Severe Dusting Injury). Continue reading

Driving Miss Brenda

Have you seen the movie Driving Miss Daisy? It’s about an 80-year-old woman who should probably hand over her car keys, yet really doesn’t want to give up the feeling of independence that comes from driving her Hudson Commodore sedan into a ditch. Backwards.

Her son—afraid that his mother’s car is going to turn into a 4,000 pound steel coffin Continue reading

When DIY Becomes DIWhy

When I bought this house, the upstairs bathroom had just been installed by the previous owners. They’d skipped a few steps—the cabinets weren’t secured to the walls, there was no exhaust fan and they hadn’t finished the top row of tile above the bathtub—but the room functioned reasonably well. Then we started using the shower, and it didn’t take long to realize that, under the right conditions, you can grow mold anywhere—even in Canada. Continue reading