A brewing company has partnered with the Cincinnati Zoo to create Team Fiona beer. This brand-new brew was created in honor of Fiona, a baby hippo that was born prematurely last January.
I have to admit, I’m a little envious of Fiona. If I packed on 225 pounds in four months, no one would name a beer in my honor. No, they’d cut me off beer. Permanently.
An average female hippo chows down 80 pounds of grass every day and grows to a pleasantly plump 3,000 pounds. Their snorts hit 115 decibels—louder than a chainsaw. When Fiona reaches those milestones, you’ll be able to read all about it on the Cincinnati Zoo’s blog. If I ever turn into a three-ton lawnmower with a voice like a chainsaw, my family will be contacting the authorities.
So, yes, I’m a little envious of Fiona—but how is her beer going to taste? According to the brewing company, itself, Team Fiona beer has a “soft mouth feel, hazy appearance and a fruit-juice flavor.” Perhaps I’m taking this too literally, but it sounds to me like Fiona’s beer is slimy, cloudy and tastes like Hawaiian Punch.
Nevertheless, I’m betting that Team Fiona beer is going to be a huge hit. Why? Because even though it’s made in the U.S., the brewing company has wisely jazzed up Fiona’s brew in a uniquely Canadian way—by pushing the alcohol content to 6.2%. So, yeah, I’d try it. Cheers!