You’ve probably heard about the Five Stages of Grief—denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance—a roadmap, of sorts, to the emotional turmoil people go through during serious illness or loss. Well, I’m here to tell you that the Five Stages of Grief apply to way more situations than their creator—psychiatrist Elisabeth Kubler-Ross—ever imagined. Just for starters, I think the Five Stages explains perfectly what happens—and, here, I speak from personal experience—when someone adopts cats…
Denial: Cats are low-maintenance, they don’t need to be walked, I won’t have to clean up poop in the yard, and these ones are old, so they’ll sleep while I’m working. This is going to be great!
Anger: What the hell? Why do cats always barf in the middle of the night—and always right beside my bed? And how much can cats actually shed? Shouldn’t they be bald by now? And the kitty litter…oh, the kitty litter…does it explode out of the litter box all by itself, or are these damned cats using an immersion blender to hurl the stuff all over the basement?
Bargaining: Dear God, I feel like I’m living with three mini-Chewbaccas. If you could just stop all the shedding and puking for one week—just one week—I’ll give up wine. Okay, maybe not wine. I’ll give up chocolate. Okay, not chocolate. But please make the fur tornado stop.
Depression: Why do I even bother getting pets? One cat is so hyper he keeps tripping me on the stairs, the second one looks frail and anorexic, the third one is so fat and lazy he’s left a permanent dent in the couch. And they eat the same diet. I’m a terrible pet owner. I should have just burned my money and thrown gravel around the basement.
Acceptance: Well, at least I don’t have to walk a dog.
Brenda: You have nailed it! Cats are everything you have said and because we have one (plus a dog) I could add to your list. One thing that I would add from experience would be that cats do NOT bark!
Enough said but I do feel you are on the right side of the “cat saga”. I could send you a dog?
NO DOGS!! Thank you for offering, though 🙂 I had totally forgotten about the barking thing, but you’re right – I really do appreciate the silence around here, now 🙂
We adopted a stray cat and we love him to pieces, but at the same time it cracks me up how picky this guy is. I mean, are you allowed to be a picky cat when you’ve been living on the streets for several years? Shouldn’t you eat the food in front of you and not turn your nose up at it?
And I think his meowing in the morning is just as bad or worse than some dogs. Just saying. 🙂
That’s so funny! One of my cats meows ridiculously loudly – with an “I’m going to die if you don’t answer me immediately” intensity to it. And I can only assume cats have amnesia, because it doesn’t matter how huge the contrast is between their past life and this one, they assume you’re their servant, LOL! Thanks for your note, Robin!