I am, of course, a worldly traveler. And by “worldly traveler” I mean that I’ve figured out how to use Google Maps to snoop around other countries while sitting here in my pajamas. You, on the other hand, might be crazy enough to actually get on a virus-laden plane and go somewhere. I don’t recommend it, but if you insist on traveling, you’ll find my first moderately-helpful travel guide here. And now, here are some laws you really should know about before choosing your destination:
China: Tibetan monks are not allowed to reincarnate anyone for you unless they have the government’s written permission.
France: Here, it’s illegal to marry a dead person. So if you’re planning a destination wedding, make sure your betrothed is in good health.
The Philippines: “Unjust vexation” is considered a punishable offense in the Philippines. So, be careful—only vex Filipinos justly.
England: It is illegal to (a) ride in a taxi if you have the plague, (b) die in the House of Parliament, or (c) operate a cow while intoxicated.
Italy: The island of Capri has banned noisy footwear, such as flip-flops, clogs and squeaky shoes. In Eraclea (near Venice), sandcastles are banned as a matter of “public decorum.”
Germany: If you wish to ice skate in Frankfurt, you must stay below the 50 mile per hour speed limit.
Poland: Polish politicians have outlawed Winnie the Pooh in playgrounds. He’s considered a dangerous influence on children, since he does not have pants or genitals.
Australia: In Western Australia, it’s illegal to have more than 50 kilograms (110 pounds) of potatoes in your possession. In Victoria, they’ll charge you if you attempt any rain-making activities.
Switzerland: The Swiss have a strict ban on naked hiking in the Alps. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
Some U.S. notables:
*In Missouri, it’s illegal to drive with an uncaged bear.
*Camel hunting is banned in Nevada, and whaling is banned in Oklahoma (a landlocked state).
Oh, and a final word of warning: Do not take your pet chicken to Quitman, Georgia. In this city, it’s illegal for chickens to cross the road. Some people have no sense of humor.
Oh, the absurdity of laws and regulations! Thanks for the laugh, Brenda. Blessings!
My pleasure, Martha 🙂
Brenda: I thank you for these guide lines. I like England as they obviously have the best rules in place. Having been in the Dairy Industry….. I do like the way they claim to “operate on a cow”.
Great warnings for us tourist folks from all the countries.
Happy travels Brenda…..even in your PJ’s
Arnold
I like England, too, Mr. Forsyth. Thank you for your support!
I have a feeling that these laws were made for idiots who actually performed these nefarious acts (except for Winnie…he’s a kind, respectful bear). Rather like the disclaimer on my curling iron where it says “for external use only”, you know?
Ah, Winnie…the genital-free, pants-free bear, LOL!