The kitchen reno went rather smoothly this week, all things considered. And by “all things considered,” I mean several fairly large problems that involved a potentially lethal support beam and a deranged cat. Continue reading
Category Archives: Funny bits
Kitchen Reno: Week 9
Something’s Bugging Me
Did you know that for just $24 you can buy 1,000 baby praying mantises? I’m tempted.
My basement was a little damp last week. And by “a little damp” I mean I spent two days lugging buckets of water up the stairs and dumping them outside. If you’ve always wanted an indoor swimming pool, here’s what you’ll need [I’ll get to the praying mantises in a second]:
1. A torrential downpour that lasts six hours Continue reading
Day 32 of My Kitchen Reno:
Time Flies When You’re Eating…Flies
Yes, it’s been a month. A month without a kitchen, laundry room, powder room and mudroom. A month of “cooking” in the basement and washing dishes in the bathtub. You’ll find last week’s whiney comments about this self-inflicted renovation here. And what have I learned during this week of nonstop drywalling?
*Reality shows aren’t real
I’ve become disillusioned with a certain home reno show that I used to love—let’s call it Sister vs. Sister. Continue reading
Three Weeks—And Counting—Without a Stove
Okay, we’re at the three-week point in this kitchen, powder room and laundry room renovation (you’ll find my oh-so-insightful comments on Day 11 here). The back half of my house now has all sorts of things that it didn’t have when I moved in—such as insulation, and wiring that won’t burst into flames while we sleep. Continue reading
Day 11: The Horror Continues
Last week, I filled you in on the tumultuous start to my kitchen reno (you can read about it here). My kitchen now has no walls, no ceiling, no flooring, no cabinets, no insulation, no wiring and no plumbing. In case you’re planning on doing something this foolish, here are a few things you should know:
*Knob and tube is alive and (un)well. Knob and tube wiring was used in the early 1900s. It was a nifty invention for folks who wanted indoor lighting and didn’t mind if their walls occasionally burst into flames. Continue reading
Day 1: And so it begins…
I had a frontal lobotomy in March. At least I’m assuming that’s what happened because—after years of merely daydreaming about getting my kitchen, powder room and laundry room renovated—I actually picked up the phone and called someone. Yesterday, the contractors arrived—with crowbars, sledgehammers and chainsaws. I think I heard the house scream. Continue reading
Three Cheers for Hippo Beer
A brewing company has partnered with the Cincinnati Zoo to create Team Fiona beer. This brand-new brew was created in honor of Fiona, a baby hippo that was born prematurely last January.
I have to admit, I’m a little envious of Fiona. If I packed on 225 pounds in four months, Continue reading
Yes, This Does Make Me Feel Old
(thanks for asking)
Since 1999, Ontario has had a program called Drive Clean. It’s designed to stop people from driving cars that spew out a ton of pollution. Older cars have to get checked every two years just to be registered.
So, every two years, I take whatever relic I’m driving into town for this test. And every time, my car passes.
This time, my car failed. Horribly, miserably, dramatically failed. Continue reading
Forget the Nobel Prize,
I’d love an Ig Nobel Prize!
Wouldn’t it be great if you could win a Nobel Prize for proving that herring communicate by farting at each other? Well, you can’t—the Nobel Prize committee has no interest in gassy fish. Thankfully, you can win an Ig Nobel Prize. That’s what happened to Ben Wilson and Lawrence Dill, two Canadian professors who won the Ig Nobel Prize for Biology in 2004 for this fascinating farting discovery.
The Ig Nobel Prize ceremonies have been held at Harvard University Continue reading
Today’s Discovery: TeriYucky Sauce
I found a bottle of teriyaki sauce on the top shelf of my fridge today. I didn’t even know I had teriyaki sauce—now there’s a bottle of it sitting here on my desk. While perusing the label, I found the expiry date: 2001.
This bottle is older than two of my kids. It’s older than my last house. Continue reading