Category Archives: Funny bits

Something’s Bugging Me

Did you know that for just $24 you can buy 1,000 baby praying mantises? I’m tempted.

My basement was a little damp last week. And by “a little damp” I mean I spent two days lugging buckets of water up the stairs and dumping them outside. If you’ve always wanted an indoor swimming pool, here’s what you’ll need [I’ll get to the praying mantises in a second]:
1. A torrential downpour that lasts six hours Continue reading

Day 32 of My Kitchen Reno:
Time Flies When You’re Eating…Flies

Yes, it’s been a month. A month without a kitchen, laundry room, powder room and mudroom. A month of “cooking” in the basement and washing dishes in the bathtub. You’ll find last week’s whiney comments about this self-inflicted renovation here. And what have I learned during this week of nonstop drywalling?

*Reality shows aren’t real
I’ve become disillusioned with a certain home reno show that I used to love—let’s call it Sister vs. Sister. Continue reading

Day 11: The Horror Continues

Last week, I filled you in on the tumultuous start to my kitchen reno (you can read about it here). My kitchen now has no walls, no ceiling, no flooring, no cabinets, no insulation, no wiring and no plumbing. In case you’re planning on doing something this foolish, here are a few things you should know:

*Knob and tube is alive and (un)well. Knob and tube wiring was used in the early 1900s. It was a nifty invention for folks who wanted indoor lighting and didn’t mind if their walls occasionally burst into flames. Continue reading

Day 1: And so it begins…

I had a frontal lobotomy in March. At least I’m assuming that’s what happened because—after years of merely daydreaming about getting my kitchen, powder room and laundry room renovated—I actually picked up the phone and called someone. Yesterday, the contractors arrived—with crowbars, sledgehammers and chainsaws. I think I heard the house scream. Continue reading

Yes, This Does Make Me Feel Old
(thanks for asking)

Since 1999, Ontario has had a program called Drive Clean. It’s designed to stop people from driving cars that spew out a ton of pollution. Older cars have to get checked every two years just to be registered.

So, every two years, I take whatever relic I’m driving into town for this test. And every time, my car passes.

This time, my car failed. Horribly, miserably, dramatically failed. Continue reading

Forget the Nobel Prize,
I’d love an Ig Nobel Prize!

Wouldn’t it be great if you could win a Nobel Prize for proving that herring communicate by farting at each other? Well, you can’t—the Nobel Prize committee has no interest in gassy fish. Thankfully, you can win an Ig Nobel Prize. That’s what happened to Ben Wilson and Lawrence Dill, two Canadian professors who won the Ig Nobel Prize for Biology in 2004 for this fascinating farting discovery.

The Ig Nobel Prize ceremonies have been held at Harvard University Continue reading